I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
