i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
