you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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