either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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