I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
