Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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