The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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