So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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