I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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