Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you inspire me to be a worse person
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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