Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
