wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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