Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He shit in the fireplace
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
