When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
