i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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