this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
