Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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