i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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