They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
