He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't deserve a penis
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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