Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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