why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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