i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
