Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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