People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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