Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
