Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
