i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
