Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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