I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think people are normalizing furries
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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