4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
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remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
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My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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