What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
