Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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