watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
