As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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