the condom got lost in my hair
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize