She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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