Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
