shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.