I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.