There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.