No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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