I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Randomize
