the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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