I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
