if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
