You smell like stripper and shame
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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