Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
