that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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