Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
