you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
