So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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