I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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