just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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