i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
