Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
