I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
