Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
