for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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