I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
