So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
