Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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