Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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