Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
