If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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