you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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