you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
