Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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