epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
